Gay Matchmaking - How the A-Gays find Love…

What about when Harry meets Harry? Many men find themselves in the position where they have built a great life for themselves; being educated, successful at work, with a wide range of friends. However, being single and asking “where will I meet ‘The One’”.

With the Gay Community being smaller than any of us would like, Gay Matchmaking is becoming more and more popular, with over 249k hit results on Google in a boastful 0.38 seconds. As new pop up companies solely dedicated to gay matchmaking emerge on a daily basis and online dating for man-meets-man increases – the idea of finding ‘The One’ becomes less daunting and more achievable.

However, what about prominent gentlemen, of affluence or influence? Those who are in the public eye, outwardly having everything but a meaningful committed relationship? The gentleman looking for someone to compliment his lifestyle and looking to date without fear of ‘gold digging’ or of a ‘sugar daddy’ label? These gentlemen do not want to rely on online dating or on apps where the idea of relationships is secondary to sex and lust…

Seventy Thirty, which has been successful for over a decade, saw huge demand from our clientele within the gay community looking for love. We answered by developing a whole division that solely dedicated to working with gay clients – gay clients who are looking for those long and meaningful relationships. Lead by our MD, a Relationship Expert, who is gay himself – our Gay Matchmaking focuses on deep and meaningful relationships built on core values.

 

“We use the psychological model Seventy Thirty was built upon and with our true understanding of what it is like to be gay and single at the current time, we help members in the gay community find the person they are looking for…”

 

Although high profile companies are developing communities for the LGBT employees to socialise and meet one another to diminish stigmatism within the work place, a high percentage of individuals do not feel comfortable about being ‘out’ at work. This is due to individuals deeming it to have a possible detriment to their career. With limited gay bars where professionals can meet each other and avoid the power hungry prowlers or social climbers, the gay community finds itself with an issue – where it has limited places in which to meet successful, professional and of course suitable, singles.  Matchmaking creates a perfect environment to meet new people out of your social circle.

4 Top Benefits of using a Gay Matchmaker:

·      Confidentiality and Peace of Mind

Confidentiality is Key – we ensure all clients and staff sign a confidentiality agreement so your association to Seventy Thirty will never be disclosed. Due diligence checks means that the identity of the person you are meeting has been checked and verified – eliminating the worry that online dating creates - that you could be meeting a false person!

·      Finding the long lasting and sustainable relationship that you are looking for

Many of our LGBT clients report that their relationships lack the ability to sustain the length of time – often fizzling out too quickly or with the match only interests in one thing… sex. Although a healthy sexual relationship is important – it is equally as important to create a foundation on which an emotional relationship can be built.

·      Avoiding the Online Stigmatism and Fear

We are of a Generation were we can still remember the stigmatism of meeting someone online and dread telling someone how we met our partner – although it is diminishing, but it hasn’t quite gone yet!  A Matchmaker will make a personal introduction to you, will get to know you and your match, so when you meet ‘The One’ it’s like meeting through a mutual acquaintance, only better.

·      Having a Relationship Expert on hand

A personal contact to help you identify the right match for you and provide continued support. This really helps you speak about your past relationships and identify where things went wrong, what you enjoyed and what you’re looking for in a future partner. This helps you avoid making mistakes in your next relationship – such as choosing the same types of individuals, which may be incompatible with you and your lifestyle

Matchmaking in Hong Kong

Our exclusive review of dating in the city that never sleeps

At night, with its famous harbour shimmering with the lights of hundreds of surrounding and towering skyscrapers, it is quite easy to mistake Hong Kong for a make-believe magical kingdom.  But in the even brighter light of day, the city reveals a fascinating mix of very real tradition, culture and commercialism, each competing for its own space in the intoxicating international cocktail that is Hong Kong.

It is one of the most densely populated metropolises in the world and one of the most vertical cities due to the limited space, having over 1200 skyscrapers balanced along the South China Sea. This former British colony is now an autonomous region of China that has become one of the top three global financial hubs, alongside New York and London. This has made it one of the ultimate, high end havens for affluent individuals and an exclusive world of luxury. Attracting a delectable mixture of personalities, it offers a sizzling hot dating scene with some the most influential and elite singles in the world.

Hong Kong has a unique setting that truly offers a diverse and cosmopolitan, but at the same time, exclusive dating experience. It has somewhat of a reputation for being Asia’s bad boy city, with a night out promising a healthy mix of martini’s and music, dancing and revelry to the early hours. In some ways this has come to pass due to the nature of its transient population. People are often posted to Hong Kong on contracts or are there for a short period of time, and so as friends can come and go, so can relationships. And in that it has been said that some of the sexy singles are in for a good time rather than a long time, with the price of one’s heart going to the highest bidder.

This reflection however would be only a superficial and stereotypical appraisal, as many of the city’s dating duos truly are seeking love. This has led to a rise in the popularity of exclusive matchmaking agencies, such as Seventy Thirty, which seek to make introductions between individuals who share similar lifestyles, values and relationship goals, thus enabling successful relationships in the long term.

Hong Kong is a singleton’s paradise as it offers many dreamy date opportunities.  It has a famous ‘foodie’ culture, with a wide range of amazing street food markets, and hipster restaurants to choose from. The legendary Mandarin Oriental oozes old world charm and glamour and their afternoon high tea would impress any lady, no matter the size of her Chanel collection. For the more adventurous, there is ferry rides and island hoping, picturesque hikes and heart-stopping horse-racing, all within easy reach. The rooftop bar is also a quintessential Hong Kong staple.

Dating in Hong Kong is very much hip, hop and happening. It promises to take your breath away and light up your heart with the glow of a thousand lights and the rush of a thousand ships, and then lure you in with the song of a city that never sleeps and the promise of endless opportunity. 

 

Don’t lose a fantastic relationship to poor communication – understanding the differences between how men and women communicate – PART 2

In part one of this series our Matchmakers explored the idea that communication can differ between men and women, and how this can lead to misunderstanding.  Following on from this, the Relationship Experts look at some specific areas of communication in which differences can be observed, with tips on how to manage them.

The single biggest complaint women and men have about how the other party communicates

Let’s start with the top two complaints.  Research shows that the single biggest complaint women have about men is that men interrupt them, and that they often talk faster to get their point in before they’re interrupted.  On the other hand, many men express frustration when women speak at elaborately and at length, but take a long time to make their point, especially in an emotive conversational exchange.  So perhaps there is a case here for women to be concise and clear in order to have their points understood, and for men to wary of interrupting.  On a related note, any gentleman out there who find it hard to decipher a woman’s needs, take comfort from the words of Freud who once stated, “The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'

Conversational content

In social conversation, while both sexes discuss a range of topics, for women this often includes references to relationships, development and experiences, whereas men tend to focus on information sharing and are often more concrete rather than abstract.   Men are also more concise in their points and economical with their words in communication. 

Our Matchmaker’s tip for the gentleman - a bit of elaboration in romantic relationships will be music to the ears of your date.  For example rather than just telling your partner she is beautiful, tell her in what way.

Mind reading and hint dropping

Men often complain that women expect them to be mind-readers rather than being explicit in communicating what they want.  This sets up a cycle of women hoping men will understand an issue they’re not even aware of and the women subsequently becoming resentful that the issue hasn’t been addressed.  This same problem occurs with hints – men generally find it difficult to pick up on hints, and if they do catch on may well feel resentful that the point has not been addressed with them directly.  This makes the case for both parties ensuring they raise issues promptly and clearly.

It might be time to let go of Darcy, Heathcliff, Rochester…

While many of us love the passionate declarations made by romantic heroes in classic fiction, setting this as an expectation in our own relationships may lead to frustration (see our Matchmaker, Zoe’s blog on ‘Role models: http://www.seventy-thirty.com/blog/2015/10/role-models-in-relationships-adjustable-adaptable-advisable). Women are particularly susceptible to this, although this applies to both sexes as we all absorb stereotypes and ideals from the media.  While it is healthy to set standards and establish preferences, we need to temper this with a focus on the real world, and an appreciation of our partner or date as a human being who is fallible with his or her own vulnerabilities.

On affection and emotion…

There are differences in the way men and women express affection in their friendships and relationships.  Men often tease and are sometimes sarcastic when expressing endearment whereas women are often direct in communicating affection and tactile in expressing it.  Many a budding relationship may never get started if the lady interpret teasing as dislike rather than admiration.  Additionally, men frequently have a more difficult time understanding emotions that are not explicitly verbalised, whereas women pick up quite easily on emotional cues.  Just understanding these difference can go a long way to understanding our partners and preventing misinterpretation.

 

The last blog in this series will focus on how differences in communication styles can lead to conflict with tips on preventing this.

 

References

Goddard, A. & Patterson, L. M. (2000). Language and Gender.  Routledge, London.

Tannen, D. (1994). Gender and Discourse. Oxford University Press, London.

 

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