Matchmaking in Hong Kong

Our exclusive review of dating in the city that never sleeps

At night, with its famous harbour shimmering with the lights of hundreds of surrounding and towering skyscrapers, it is quite easy to mistake Hong Kong for a make-believe magical kingdom.  But in the even brighter light of day, the city reveals a fascinating mix of very real tradition, culture and commercialism, each competing for its own space in the intoxicating international cocktail that is Hong Kong.

It is one of the most densely populated metropolises in the world and one of the most vertical cities due to the limited space, having over 1200 skyscrapers balanced along the South China Sea. This former British colony is now an autonomous region of China that has become one of the top three global financial hubs, alongside New York and London. This has made it one of the ultimate, high end havens for affluent individuals and an exclusive world of luxury. Attracting a delectable mixture of personalities, it offers a sizzling hot dating scene with some the most influential and elite singles in the world.

Hong Kong has a unique setting that truly offers a diverse and cosmopolitan, but at the same time, exclusive dating experience. It has somewhat of a reputation for being Asia’s bad boy city, with a night out promising a healthy mix of martini’s and music, dancing and revelry to the early hours. In some ways this has come to pass due to the nature of its transient population. People are often posted to Hong Kong on contracts or are there for a short period of time, and so as friends can come and go, so can relationships. And in that it has been said that some of the sexy singles are in for a good time rather than a long time, with the price of one’s heart going to the highest bidder.

This reflection however would be only a superficial and stereotypical appraisal, as many of the city’s dating duos truly are seeking love. This has led to a rise in the popularity of exclusive matchmaking agencies, such as Seventy Thirty, which seek to make introductions between individuals who share similar lifestyles, values and relationship goals, thus enabling successful relationships in the long term.

Hong Kong is a singleton’s paradise as it offers many dreamy date opportunities.  It has a famous ‘foodie’ culture, with a wide range of amazing street food markets, and hipster restaurants to choose from. The legendary Mandarin Oriental oozes old world charm and glamour and their afternoon high tea would impress any lady, no matter the size of her Chanel collection. For the more adventurous, there is ferry rides and island hoping, picturesque hikes and heart-stopping horse-racing, all within easy reach. The rooftop bar is also a quintessential Hong Kong staple.

Dating in Hong Kong is very much hip, hop and happening. It promises to take your breath away and light up your heart with the glow of a thousand lights and the rush of a thousand ships, and then lure you in with the song of a city that never sleeps and the promise of endless opportunity. 

 

Don’t lose a fantastic relationship to poor communication – understanding the differences between how men and women communicate – PART 2

In part one of this series our Matchmakers explored the idea that communication can differ between men and women, and how this can lead to misunderstanding.  Following on from this, the Relationship Experts look at some specific areas of communication in which differences can be observed, with tips on how to manage them.

The single biggest complaint women and men have about how the other party communicates

Let’s start with the top two complaints.  Research shows that the single biggest complaint women have about men is that men interrupt them, and that they often talk faster to get their point in before they’re interrupted.  On the other hand, many men express frustration when women speak at elaborately and at length, but take a long time to make their point, especially in an emotive conversational exchange.  So perhaps there is a case here for women to be concise and clear in order to have their points understood, and for men to wary of interrupting.  On a related note, any gentleman out there who find it hard to decipher a woman’s needs, take comfort from the words of Freud who once stated, “The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is 'What does a woman want?'

Conversational content

In social conversation, while both sexes discuss a range of topics, for women this often includes references to relationships, development and experiences, whereas men tend to focus on information sharing and are often more concrete rather than abstract.   Men are also more concise in their points and economical with their words in communication. 

Our Matchmaker’s tip for the gentleman - a bit of elaboration in romantic relationships will be music to the ears of your date.  For example rather than just telling your partner she is beautiful, tell her in what way.

Mind reading and hint dropping

Men often complain that women expect them to be mind-readers rather than being explicit in communicating what they want.  This sets up a cycle of women hoping men will understand an issue they’re not even aware of and the women subsequently becoming resentful that the issue hasn’t been addressed.  This same problem occurs with hints – men generally find it difficult to pick up on hints, and if they do catch on may well feel resentful that the point has not been addressed with them directly.  This makes the case for both parties ensuring they raise issues promptly and clearly.

It might be time to let go of Darcy, Heathcliff, Rochester…

While many of us love the passionate declarations made by romantic heroes in classic fiction, setting this as an expectation in our own relationships may lead to frustration (see our Matchmaker, Zoe’s blog on ‘Role models: http://www.seventy-thirty.com/blog/2015/10/role-models-in-relationships-adjustable-adaptable-advisable). Women are particularly susceptible to this, although this applies to both sexes as we all absorb stereotypes and ideals from the media.  While it is healthy to set standards and establish preferences, we need to temper this with a focus on the real world, and an appreciation of our partner or date as a human being who is fallible with his or her own vulnerabilities.

On affection and emotion…

There are differences in the way men and women express affection in their friendships and relationships.  Men often tease and are sometimes sarcastic when expressing endearment whereas women are often direct in communicating affection and tactile in expressing it.  Many a budding relationship may never get started if the lady interpret teasing as dislike rather than admiration.  Additionally, men frequently have a more difficult time understanding emotions that are not explicitly verbalised, whereas women pick up quite easily on emotional cues.  Just understanding these difference can go a long way to understanding our partners and preventing misinterpretation.

 

The last blog in this series will focus on how differences in communication styles can lead to conflict with tips on preventing this.

 

References

Goddard, A. & Patterson, L. M. (2000). Language and Gender.  Routledge, London.

Tannen, D. (1994). Gender and Discourse. Oxford University Press, London.

 

Matchmaking in Scotland: Our Exclusive Review of the Scottish Dating Scene

As my surname suggests, my heritage lies in Scotland and I am very fond of the proud nation, with its beautiful countryside and distinguished cities like Glasgow, Aberdeen and Edinburgh. Here are my tips on dating in this very special part of the world for local and international romantics.

The choice of first date must be individual to the couple. For some, lunch and a walk along the beach is a nice, low-key option. Scotland has some breathtakingly beautiful beaches that can provide the setting for a wonderful date. My favourite is the wide stretch of sand along the coastal path through East Lothian, the sunniest part of the country. The pretty town of Dunbar has several good spots for lunch, including the Creel Restaurant, a great place to have a bite to eat.

In Edinburgh possibly the finest meal can be found in The Witchery on the Royal Mile near the Castle. A boutique luxury hotel, it has a 5 star restaurant this is a truly high end venue. It would certainly be an impressive option for introductions and with only a few tables it is very exclusive.

A somewhat leftfield option is to go to a ceilidh – a Scottish dance. Featuring traditional music and often people dressed in kilts, a night at one of these will be an adventure, and something to talk about on future dates.

Glasgow has many excellent options for dates. A very special restaurant is Brel in the West End which has a beautiful garden to eat al fresco. The city also hosts some wonderful cultural activities, particularly the Brel in the West End which has a beautiful garden to eat lunch al fresco. As a former European City of Culture and most recent host of the Commonwealth Games the city is blessed with some wonderful artistic events. It is the home of Scottish Opera and Scottish Ballet and the Concert Hall has concerts by orchestras from across the world. It is renowned for its artists and the Glasgow Art Fair (springtime) would be an exciting event to take someone passionate about creativity and culture to.

As well as the culture, food, and scenery Scotland is a place to feel at home.

Muslim Matchmaking - Our Exclusive Review of the Dating Scene

By Aida Abdi 

With Muslim matchmaking becoming increasingly popular, we will explore the basic values, traditions and approach to modern dating within the Muslim community.

Arrangements VS Matchmaking?

Is it just me, or are the two supposedly different concepts actually quite similar to one another? The former is very traditional, practised over the centuries and the latter is a modern approach to the world of contemporary dating. Apart from this, there isn’t much more of a difference, except that the former is usually community-based, with families approaching an individual with a potential suitor whereas the latter is an organised practice with professionals such as Matchmaking Specialists doing the searching and the finding. Talk about a modern twist to a historic practice, many Muslims seem to be happy with the latter, adopting the approach as it gives access to many potential suitors at one time, providing the freedom and greater opportunities to meet like-minded individuals more efficiently and on a global scale; different approaches, same principle. A great way to modern dating whilst upholding tradition.

The Elite

The importance of career, wealth and success is increasing for both men and women; for this reason, the majority of career-focused individuals spend 70% of their time working and only 30% of their time socialising (hence the revolution of Seventy Thirty). This applies to the Muslim community also; many affluent men and women seek a match similar in status, goals and background. Therefore, since their personal time is so precious, exclusive matchmaking agencies create the perfect platform in restoring this balance and helping you find your ‘equal’ match.

Freedom and Privacy

Traditional approaches are still practised in many societies and in the Western world, the process and experience of it all can sometimes feel a bit daunting and overwhelming, especially in the Muslim culture as family and communities can be very involved. Online services such as dating sites or exclusive matchmaking agencies can offer individuals the freedom and privacy to search for their ideal match, without being under the watchful eye of a protective parent or prying neighbour.

Agency Advantage

As Muslim online dating is becoming increasingly popular, there is a vastly growing number of dating sites dedicated to Muslims however, the question is, which is the right one for you? Many dating sites, to an extent, can offer individuals freedom to search and privacy whilst doing so. Nevertheless, many are turning away from online dating and others simply do not feel that they can put themselves on an online dating site. Matchmaking agencies offer a safer and more effective approach, eliminating any danger of online dating as they personally meet all Members and issue confidentiality agreements.

Dating Culture & Goals

For most of our Muslim clients, the goal is marriage and family. ‘Flings’, experimenting or short-term relationships are not part of the values or ethics of Muslim culture. Values and ethics such as self-preservation, protection and discipline are highly regarded. However, as many are moving away from the traditional approach of matchmaking arrangements, they are exploring other appropriate avenues that don’t conflict with their culture or ethics as a Muslim. Matchmaking agencies carefully assess each member and take into account an individual’s values, relationship goals and background to name the least, aiming to find compatible partnerships and ensuring no culture clash.

Muslim Matchmaking is a very fast growing industry, with many professional men and women joining Exclusive Matchmaking agencies to find their ideal partner. Seventy Thirty’s Muslim Members are often very prominent people, leading contemporary lifestyles with traditional cultural and religious values at their personal level of observance. Balance is key; they want to find someone who appreciates that those traditional values and beliefs can exist harmoniously in a modern world.    

Company Number 9335709

VAT Number 253845586