Psychology of Attraction: The Power of Smell

We may like the subtle smell of a designer fragrance on our partner, however, when it comes to attraction and mate assessment, the power of smell may have a deeper role than you think.

Olfaction [the sense of smell] is one of our strongest primitive and most intimate senses – breathing in the smell of potential mates around you. It is widely known that pheromones are partly responsible for attraction, in particular sexual attraction.  Each individual has a unique smell which can be undetectable by the conscious nose, but can be seen as an outward display of individual genes and traits.

In terms of mate assessment, smell therefore becomes vital. Reaching the emotional cortex of the brain quicker than touch or taste, smell allows our brains to quickly assess mate compatibility and in turn, attraction. In an evolutionary psychological perspective, this could be linked to survival and reproduction. Smell helps our brains assess an individual’s gene pool, fertility, illness etc. - including judging how someone handles stressful situations and even traits they may pass on to subsequent children. These aspects are subconsciously assessed before we even come into physical contact with the individual. We can then further assess suitability through the first kiss (see our blog: http://www.seventy-thirty.com/blog/2014/11/the-psychology-of-the-first-kiss), which is an additional aspect of mate assessment.

Are there differences between men and women?

Research by McClintock (2005)[1] found that women are particularly apt when it comes to the power of smell. Women can detect minute gene differences in the male’s odor and demonstrate a preference for particular males who share compatible genetics.

Men however, are not so attuned to detecting genetic similarities based on olfaction, despite men and women both receiving and processing smells in the same way from a neuropsychological standpoint. This could be due to the primitive mating reasons, men want to merely pass on their genes and have an element of quantity over quality, whereas women’s primitive needs are to find a mate with different but compatible genes to her own, allowing for an advantage for subsequent children (Wedekind 1995)[2]. The need and ability to sense these aspects increases during fertile cycles, increasing attraction (and ability to smell out) to the right type of male during the vital ovulation period. Women taking contraceptive pills, whose bodies experience ‘pregnancy hormones’ preventing ovulation, are therefore at a disadvantage – being unable to readily assess the smell of their mate, often resulting in poorer mate selection by seeking smell of males or individuals with the same genetic smell to them – such as relatives, who, in theory, would help rear the baby.

Smell therefore can then be seen as an element of natural selection for women making the best father choice possible for their future offspring as well as selecting the right match emotionally for her. So the next time you decide to splash on another spritz of your fragrance, remember that your date is looking to smell (and meet) the real you.

 

[1] McClintock, M. K, Bullivant, S., Jacon S., Spencer, N., Ober, Z., Ober C. (2005) Human Body Scents: Conscious Perceptions and Biological Effects. Chem. Senses Vol. 30 1. Pp.135-137.

[2] Wedekind, C., Seebeck T., Bettens, F., Paepke A. J. (1995) Proceedings: Biological Sciences, Vol. 260, No. 1359. pp. 245-249.

Can the Myers Briggs (MBTI) Personality Test Help to Understand and Improve our Romantic Relationships?

Many people have heard of the MBTI, the psychological test called the Myers Briggs type indicator. It has widespread use as a personality tool in the workplace and in coaching and counselling. My question is can it help us to understand and improve romantic relationships? This is not an easy question to answer because the test itself is very general as it measures our pre-disposition or tendency to behave in certain ways, rather than define fixed personality traits.

Further, there are many ways in which people are attracted to each other, and the MBTI cannot, by definition, be used to predict success in mate selection as there are many factors which can influence our partner choice and are indicative of longevity in relationships.

The MBTI simply identifies our psychological preferences/types in the general way that we like to think and act. It measures four areas where people can be fundamentally different. The first concerns the way we like to become energised, the second is concerned with how we like to handle information, the third looks at our preferred way of making decisions and the fourth is about how we like to organise our activities. Our psychological types are determined by our scores on each of the 4 pairs of dichotomous (either/or) preferences. For example, my preferences tend to be scored as INFJ.

Below gives a brief outline of the types which I’m sure many of you are already familiar with.

MBTI Either/Or Preference Pairs

How do you prefer to recharge your batteries?

  • (E) – Extraversion Preference for being involved in the external world of action and people
  • (I) – Introversion Preference for the inner world of thoughts, feelings and reflection.

How do you prefer to understand and interpret new information?

  • (S) – Sensing Preference for gathering and trusting information that is concrete and tangible
  • (N) – Intuition Preference for gathering and trusting information that is more abstract, associated with meaning  and recognisable patterns

What is your preferred decision making method?

  • (T) – Thinking Preference for logical, rational and detached method
  • (F) – Feeling Considers the impact of decisions on others, evaluates pros and cons

How do you prefer to relate to the outside world?

  • (J) – Judging Preference for planning, and being organised in the external world
  • (P) – Perceiving Preference for a spontaneous, adventurous and flexible approach in the outside world 

So how might identifying these preferences be used to enhance our relationship with others?

  1. We might find that we obtain a deeper understanding of ourselves and each other by identifying our preferences. For example if one partner is identified as having a preference for an introverted (I) focus, whilst the other is identified as having an extravert (E) preference, understanding this difference may inform both parties of the potential need for tolerance, as these two facets of personality are very different in terms of way that energy is gained. Further, those with an (I) preference like to think first and then speak, whereas a (E) preference tend to speak as they think. Without awareness partnerships, where each individual has one of these two different styles, can be quite tricky. 
  2. Awareness of preferences might serve to ease friction within relationships as couples might find that they each have a different decision making preference. For example people who show a ‘thinking’ (T) preference, make decisions primarily on logic whereas people with a ‘feeling’ (F) preference, make decisions based on how the people involved will be affected. Understanding these differences might help to ease any tension that might be present between couples when joint decisions have to be made.
  3. Understanding communication styles - It is important to recognise that some people like to communicate by emphasising matters of fact and details (S), whereas others prefer to communicate the bigger picture, connecting different pieces of information from different sources (N). If one person in the couple is (S) and the other is (N), awareness of the difference can help mitigate the potential for misunderstanding.
  4. Making plans – Individuals with a (P) preference have a tendency to avoid making plans and instead have a more spontaneous approach; (J) individuals, on the other hand, enjoy making plans. Again, with an awareness of these differences, individuals each with different preference type may find it much easier to understand the others’ unique approach.

Perhaps you should try an MBTI test, there are a number of internet sites that freely allow you to do so, and see what you and your partner’s preferences are. Use it as a forum for discussion and understanding; a way to deepen your connection with your significant other.

And…even if you are a sceptic of the scientific basis of the MBTI, you will find that just placing a focus and spending some time learning how each other prefers to think and act will help you both to raise your awareness of the similarities and differences between you. The similarities will bond you and any differences can be viewed in a more benign and loving way.

Elite Luxury Matchmaking Services by Seventy Thirty - The Top Tier thetoptier.net

Written by Doron Levy on 20 November 2014. Posted in Luxury Products & Trends

Online dating and matchmaking is a huge business these days and that also extends to the luxury category. Affluent singles have turned to elite matchmaking services to fulfill their desires for companionship. We had the exclusive pleasure of speaking to Susie Ambrose, CEO and founder of Seventy Thirty, an elite matchmaking service based in London.

Susie shares her thoughts on the industry and her business:

TheTopTier: Matchmaking services seem to be all the rage these days. What led you to get into the 'elite' matchmaking business? 

Susie Ambrose: A gap in the market. Like every genuine and creative entrepreneur, once I spotted that there was no company which catered exclusively to ultra-high net worth individuals back in 2003, I created the first exclusive luxury matchmaking company.

TTT: Do you feel this is a market that will continue growing? What is the future potential for this type of business? 

SA:  It’s difficult to predict, as we are now in a digitally-dominated era and younger generations prefer to use various dating apps. However, the art and business of matchmaking would always appeal to people who prefer a discreet and personalised bespoke luxury service. 

TTT: Are there any standardized criteria for you to take on a client? Net worth, income, etc? 

SA: Absolutely. Our Members are UHNWIs who are accustomed to consistently receiving an exceptional high quality service. We are the experts in luxury and we admire finer things in life therefore we fully understand our Members’ needs, wants and desires, tailoring our service around them individually.

TTT: Without giving any secrets away, what are the key elements you use to pair up a match?

SA: Relationships are based on common value systems; the four main parameters we use when we matchmake: background, lifestyle, sexual attraction and relationship goals. Of course, there are also other factors to consider, such as socio-economic status, family, and political and religious values; we take a holistic approach and always put our clients first.

TTT: Any success stories that come to mind? 

SA: It would have to be a couple we matched in 2007, who now have three adorable children. It makes me so proud that I have facilitated in introducing these two wonderful people.

TTT: Does geography come into play when making a match or is location irrelevant? 

SA: It is relevant to some people, to others it is not. However, our Members would tell us at the beginning of their membership of any geographical restrictions they might have, again tailoring our search to their bespoke needs.

TTT: Any special initiatives for the future that you would like to share? 

SA: In the luxury market, there is money to spend and the savvy rich want to make sure they are making sensible and fruitful long-term investments. Seventy Thirty is an investment for a better future. I will continue ensuring that our goals are successfully achieved and continue being an exceptional Ambassador for the luxury industry.

A little background on Susie Ambrose and Seventy Thirty:

“Whilst running her own highly successful psychotherapy practice in the heart of prestigious Knightsbridge,  Susie Ambrose, Founder & CEO of Seventy Thirty has always catered to the most elite calibre of high net-worth individuals; the wealthy, the successful and of course, the attractive. Essentially, all those who are serious about finding that special someone; their life partner.

During her private practice, she was approached by an aristocratic gentleman who came to her looking for help to find love. With years of expertise and a network of extremely sought after individuals, those of affluence and influence; matching him with a woman whom he respected and grew to love was the catalyst which drove Susie to build Seventy Thirty.

Now, a decade on, Seventy Thirty is the ultimate leading international matchmaking & introduction agency, finding exceptionally compatible relationships for our incredible Members worldwide.”

Sail away - The Sunday Times on Seventy Thirty

When E. B. sold her IT business for £22m in 2009, she found herself with an awful lot of time on her hands. “I was completely lost for the first time in my life. I really didn’t know what to do with myself.” But since the leggy, blonde Norwegian isn’t the sort of girl to let the grass grow under her feet, she decided to “take control of my private life and make it as successful as my professional life”. She joined the elite matchmaking agency Seventy Thirty, and two months later had found the object of her affections that would send her on a journey of discovery she’s still enjoying today: the superyacht. “The things you do when you’re in love!” she says, laughing.